The Problem with Dream Jobs (and What I Believe Instead)
I spent the first several years of my nursing career searching for the job that would make everything click.
I wanted to find my place - the right unit, the right role, the right team. I believed that if I just kept working hard, I’d eventually land the job that felt like home. One that didn’t even feel like work. (You know that old saying, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”? Yeah… I think that’s total BS now.)
Every time I made a move hoping this would be it, and it wasn’t, the disappointment cut deeper.
I started to wonder if I’d chosen the wrong path entirely. I felt defeated, stuck, and more than once, like I had failed as a nurse.
I thought maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this profession. And that was a crushing thought for someone who had poured so much into becoming a nurse.
But what I didn’t realize was that it wasn’t me — it was the dream job mindset itself weighing me down.
How the Dream Job Mindset Held Me Back
It took me a long time (and a lot of painful self-reflection) to finally let go of the idea of the “dream job.” But I’m glad I did. Because once I stopped chasing the dream, I made space for something much better: a nursing career that supports my life, not consumes it.
Here are 6 ways the dream job mindset was holding me back, and what I believe instead.
Way #1: It created unrealistic expectations
The dream job sounds amazing on paper: meaningful work, great pay, flexibility, a supportive team, personal growth, and passion all rolled into one role.
But no job (not even in nursing) can deliver all that, all the time.
When you expect one role to meet every need, you set yourself up for disappointment. I found myself constantly scanning for the things that were missing (better staffing, more flexibility, more purpose) instead of seeing the full picture. Even when a role was “good enough,” it didn’t feel that way, because it didn’t match the dream I had built in my head.
In a profession like nursing, where we’re taught that our work is a calling, this becomes even more complicated. When things didn’t feel fulfilling, I didn’t just question the job. I questioned myself.
But the problem wasn’t that I had the wrong job.
It was that I had the wrong expectations for what a job was supposed to be.
Way #2: It made me more willing to accept poor treatment
When I believed I had finally landed my “dream job,” I wanted so badly for it to work that I started ignoring the parts that weren’t working.
I tolerated things I shouldn’t have (unclear expectations, poor communication, lack of support, even bullying) because I thought, maybe this is just how it is. I told myself, I’ve landed a job that other nurses wish they could have. I should just be grateful.
I was convinced the problem must be me. I needed to have a better attitude and fix my mindset.
Like many nurses, I was conditioned to believe that being a “good nurse” meant sacrificing my own needs and being “tough enough” to not complain about it. But the dream job shouldn’t require you to ignore your well-being, minimize your feelings, or push past red flags.
Letting go of the dream job mindset helped me finally start asking better questions. Not how do I make this work?, but is this working for me?
Way #3: It made me feel like a failure
Every time a job didn’t turn out to be what I hoped, I didn’t just feel disappointed. I felt like I had failed as a nurse.
When you spend years chasing the dream role that’s supposed to light you up and make everything click, and it still doesn’t feel right, it’s easy to turn that disappointment inward.
I thought maybe I was the problem. That I wasn’t passionate enough, resilient enough, or tough enough.
But none of that was true. I wasn’t failing at nursing. I was holding myself to an impossible standard, shaped by a belief that the right job would fix everything.
Letting go of that belief showed me that it’s okay for a job to be imperfect and for your needs to change. That doesn’t make you a failure. It means you’re in tune with your own needs.
Way #4: It boxed me in
The dream job mindset made me believe there was only one right path. One perfect role where I was supposed to land and stay.
That belief kept me from seeing other possibilities. Instead of exploring roles that could have aligned better with my skills or the season of life I was in, I stayed stuck chasing the idea of “the one.”
In nursing, this can be especially limiting. There’s often an unspoken ladder of what’s considered the “best” or most respected roles - like ICU, ER, or becoming an NP. I thought that if I didn’t aim for those paths, I wasn’t growing in the “right” way.
But careers don't have to be linear. Some of my best opportunities came when I stopped obsessing over the dream job and opened my mind to roles I’d never considered before.
Way #5: My values and needs changed, but I kept clinging to the dream
The dream job I imagined early in my career didn’t account for how much I would change as a person.
When I first became a nurse, I valued things like building expertise, proving myself, and finding a unit I could call “home.”
But nursing has a way of putting life into perspective. We see how quickly everything can change - illness, loss, the unexpected. It made me realize life is too short to stay in a job that doesn’t support the life I want to live.
As my life evolved (through burnout, growth, and becoming a parent) what I wanted from work shifted. Flexibility, boundaries, and a healthier work-life balance started to matter more.
For a long time, I felt guilty about that shift, like I was “giving up” on the dream.
But the truth is, your values should evolve as your life changes. The roles that once felt important may not fit forever. And that doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re growing.
Way #6: It was never really my dream
Looking back, I’m not sure the “dream job” I was chasing was ever truly mine.
So much of what I thought I wanted came from outside expectations - what nursing school, coworkers, or the profession itself told me was considered “the best.”
There’s this unspoken hierarchy in nursing: ICU or ER for the “real” nurses, management or NP roles if you’re “moving up.” I absorbed all of that without stopping to ask if it was what I actually wanted.
I’ve learned that chasing someone else’s version of success will always leave you feeling unfulfilled. A job title, unit, or role isn’t automatically your dream just because it’s respected or admired by others.
Letting go of the dream job mindset helped me finally start defining success for myself. Not by what looks good on paper, but by what truly supports my values and the life I want to live.
What I Believe Instead
Letting go of the dream job mindset doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring about my career. It means I’ve stopped expecting one job to be the answer to everything.
I no longer believe that a single role should define my worth, my happiness, or my future. Instead, I focus on finding work that supports my life, not the other way around.
That means asking questions like:
Does this job align with my values right now?
Does it give me space to be the parent, partner, or person I want to be outside of work?
Does it respect my boundaries and my well-being?
I’ve also learned that careers aren’t linear. There’s no single “right” path. It’s okay to pivot, take a step sideways, or explore something new if it fits the season of life you’re in.
I didn’t give up on fulfillment. I just stopped believing it had to come from one perfect job.
For me, it’s about creating a career that evolves with me, rather than boxing myself in with someone else’s version of success.
Final Thoughts
If you’re holding on to the dream job mindset, I hope this post gives you permission to let it go. You’re not failing because a job isn’t perfect. You’re learning, growing, and figuring out what truly matters to you.
Your career doesn’t have to follow a straight line or match someone else’s idea of success. You get to define what “enough” looks like and build a career that supports your life, not consumes it.
Ready to start creating a career that supports your life?
Check out Own Your Career: A Nurse’s Guide to Growth & Change - a simple, actionable guide to help you reflect on your values, clarify what you want next, and take confident steps forward.
Because you don’t need a dream job. You just need a career that works for you.